Not Turned on by your Life, Lover or Yourself? Get Your Groove Back!

Maraya Brown is one of the experts joining us for the Hormone and Wellness Summit, April 16th, 25th & 30th. She’ll be talking about a functional approach to hormone health. Join us!

I love orgasms, feeling sexy, sensual, fun, and creative.  I bet you do too, or at least you did at one point. Let’s get that back!

What I hear from women are things like: 

  • I don’t desire sex like I used to. 
  • I’m exhausted and juggling too many things.  
  • I’m postpartum and feel over-touched, over-needed. 
  • My vagina doesn’t feel the same
  • I can’t get wet and can’t even reach orgasm. 
  • We used to have sex three times a day, now we argue about dishes, laundry and the toilet paper being put on the role the wrong way (if we have any)
  • My vaginal smell is embarrassing. I’m ashamed. 
  • I’m lonely and don’t know what I desire anymore. 
  • I just work and care for others.

Do you remember those days when you first got together with your partner?

The passionate, spontaneous, creative and hot sex? Maybe it was 10 years ago, maybe it was 20 years ago. You couldn’t keep your hands off of one another, sent each text messages and love notes. You couldn’t wait until the next time you would see one another. Then a million things started to get in the way. Those true excuses like children and work, body/hormone changes, household chores and bill paying. 

But now, not only are you not having sex and your libido is not there, but: 

  • You’re desiring a break from all of it more than quality time together. 
  • You’re arguing over those things that don’t really even matter… and you’re going “crap! Do we have a problem in our relationship?! Was all this time together all for nothing? 
  • Maybe you’ve even given up on your workouts and healthy diet and your meal plan is out the window because you’re like “who cares, no one is seeing me naked anyway”. 
  • Your lingerie is old and worn and you’re in your old hip high cotton panties and sweats and can’t remember the last time you put on lip gloss and a pair of heels. 

Have you forgotten that sex is fantastic for stress relief and so is self care?

Instead of feeling tense and stressed, unwanted and perpetually perturbed, what if there was actually a better way to be living? Other benefits of addressing the libido also tend to be resolved gut issues, more energy for your day and hormone balancing along the way. 

Yo! You’ve been pushing yourself too hard for too long. 

You’re not the same person you were ten years ago, your body is not the same, your approach to life is not the same, your passion for your work has changed, so why are you expecting that you’re turned on to and by the same things?

Truth be told, a year ago I was there too.

I was a busy breastfeeding mom of three young children, in my 40s, working too many hours. We were spending more time criticizing and blaming one another than kissing and caring. I felt alone in my own home and had stopped longing for him or to be touched. I felt trapped in my own life and had lost passion or emotion for most things. Then, I turned it around. The desire for exploration sexually returned. I found my passion again. Hence, I started my program for women to optimize energy, hormones, and libido.  

Come on women, let’s all rise up and yell at the top of the mountains that we are TURNED ON BY OUR LIVES, OUR LOVERS AND OURSELVES!

Women need to get creative and connect in a safe community of women, sometimes that alone can be part of the healing journey.  We get the opportunity to name it, to speak it and hear others do the same.  

“Erotic happens in my imagination, sexual awakening happens between my legs, and a woman’s erogenous zone is her entire body” Eva Clay. 

What brings you alive?

Right now, here’s some of my examples: strength, playfulness, alone time, watching my husband rise in his power. Sand in my toes, the ocean. Warmth.  Sunshine. Hip Hop. Bachata. Mango. Sushi. Fresh produce.. A hot bath. Buddha Bar, Sara Bareilles….flower blossoms, blue skies, the wind in the trees.  

Can you stop and take a breath… find something right now that you see, hear or feel that bubbles up pleasure or satisfaction?

Allow your attention to rest on that thing for 20 seconds and let your brain rest there. The brain is rewarded hormonally so it will start to look for pleasurable things in ordinary life circumstances as well.

It’s time for solutions!

I am a woman, a wife, a mother and a Certified Nurse Midwife, Yale trained.  I have also dedicated my career to learning nutritional, mindset, functional medicine and holistic solutions.  

I don’t know if you need to heal your gut, revamp your adrenals, balance your hormones, reboot your liver or heal your thyroid. Maybe it’s simply mindset and community you need. How about vaginal and vulvar health, and tackling those frustrating and sexual-blocking vaginal discomforts that you’re experiencing. The reality is I’m not really sure until I get an opportunity to talk with you. I don’t know what your unique problem is. I need to be able to talk with you about what you have done before, where your health is now and where you want to get to. 

What is going on in your unique scenario? 

If I can help you bridge that gap, I will let you know how I think I can do that. If I don’t think I’m the right resource, I’ll point you in the right direction. If you want to get your libido back on track, book a call with me and I will let you know what I can do to help. 

Women deserve to feel turned on.  Let me help you get there! Please book here: 

The world is abundant in resources and overflowing virtually for you to move from exhausted to energized, balance your hormones and feel turned on by your life, your lover and yourself.  Can’t wait to hear from you….

Maraya Brown

Maraya is the co-founder of Beyond The Red Tent, one of our esteemed experts on our Hormones & Wellness Summit, a Yale Trained Certified Nurse Midwife, with her Masters in Nursing and her undergraduate in Marketing.

She has attended births and practiced as a women’s health provider for 13 years. She has taught at the Chinese Medicine College on the Big Island of Hawaii and is in the process of getting her Certification through the Institute of Functional Medicine.  She is also a mom of 3 young children.

Maraya has just launched on online Women’s Energy, Hormone Balance and Libido course and is opening up exploration calls now to find the right first 5 women to enter during these turbulent times.


If you would like to receive Maraya’s top five adrenal health elixirs to make at home, please sign up here and they will be emailed to you for free. These are part of Maraya’s course, but a gift from her to you for enjoying this article.

January 21, 2021